One thing I am absolutely terrible at is relaxing. Taking time out to chill, to read, to watch telly, to just sit down. I am useless at it, as I have this really annoying trait that I must always be busy and must make the most of every single minute in every single day. I don’t know whether it stems from being incredibly lonely in my first year of university and wanting to always keep busy in order to not overthink when I’m alone, or just the fact that I feel incredibly guilty if I’m not doing something that will benefit me in some way, I am always doing something.
Today, for the first time in what must be months, I decided not to rush to get ready after my morning gym session in order to head out for the day, and instead I’ve sat with my laptop on the sofa for the last hour or so, and am enjoying catching up on little life admin jobs and just resting for a change.
I feel as though I have this weird FOMO, not the type that I used to get when all my pals were heading on a night out and I’d force myself to have a Saturday night in (now it’s the opposite, where I’m jealous of people getting an early night and sitting in their pjs if I’m out on the town!). But it’s a feeling that there is so much to do and see and that I must go out and do it all. It also probably stems from the fact that I love being outdoors and taking photographs and being busy in general, but it often leaves me feeling completely exhausted and I’m then burning the candle at both ends as I try to make long work hours, working out, socialising and meeting friends, blogging and Instagram, and doing general life admin and looking after my flat work. I’m tired just thinking about it.
That’s why, over the last few weeks, I have decided to schedule me time into my routine, and while I used to hate being alone I am now relishing in the quieter moments where I can sit back and relax a little. I make sure I allow myself a night or two after work, in which to just work out and spend time in the flat, reading, writing, or just watching TV and while it’s hard to get accustomed to, I feel as though it’s working.
Taking time out is something we shouldn’t feel guilty about. It’s self care and it’s as important as being healthy or focusing on your career. It’s good to indulge in a little Netflix binge every now and again, or to spend an hour or two ignoring your phone and just reading in the sunshine.
I’m never going to be one of those people who is happy mooching around the flat all day. I love being out and about, spending time with friends, going for walks and adventuring far too much. But it’s good to take a break every once in a while, and making time for it is the way it works for me.
Lots of love. xoxo